Finding Your Herd

The day job requires a lot of interaction with all sorts of people. We come together to plan, strategize, solve problems and make things better.  When people join forces to attack a new project, or perhaps a new team has formed after a re-org, there are four stages of psychological development the team will go through. Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing (FSNP) is a model developed by psychologist Bruce Tuckman to describe what happens when a new group comes together. At work we talk about this pretty regularly, and then I was introduced to ‘horse business’.

At the ranch we were introducing a new horse to the herd. Being new to the experience, I’m instructed to stand outside the fence and watch. My heart begins to pound as I watch horses race to the new horse, some have ears pinned. I see horses turn to give a little, or maybe a big, kick. I hear neighing, and maybe one horse goes to bite another. I’m growing more and more nervous, but there I stood, just observing- and learning a very valuable life lesson. It was easy to understand that we had the ‘forming’ by the new horse entering the pasture. We certainly had the ‘storming’, nothing was more obvious than that stage. But, what is happening in that moment? The moment when a horse rears up, or another has his ears pinned, or when yet a third does what I call the ‘Lone Ranger’ on his hind legs? Well, they are establishing the hierarchy of the herd. Who will emerge the leader, or the alpha? Who is second, sort of like the Sergeant at Arms and then the rest. This takes people forever, but horses seem to figure it out rather quickly. The horse will enter the ‘norming’ phase much faster than a group of people working on a project. It was easy for me to walk away from that experience and equate it to what I had learned at work about team dynamics. But then I realized it’s not just work, and it’s not just horses, it’s all relationships. In group settings it’s never linear, the forming, storming, norming… it fluctuates depending on all kinds of external factors. But, people in our inner circle (our human herd) do seem to take on roles. The planner, the person we can count on for social events and getting things together. The peacekeeper, always making sure everyone feels heard and valued. The encourager, always a positive light. There are endless roles in various human herds, but, when I look inward, I notice I have the same role in various settings. It’s what we bring to the table, everywhere we go. It’s who we are. I wonder if we then naturally seek out people who compliment our strengths- meaning, they can fill our voids.

Here I am with my horsey herd. I know I’m supposed to be the alpha in the photo, but that is certainly debatable. My Theo is the alpha in his herd, with his pasture mate Vincent being the Sergeant at Arms. When I bring Theo back to the pasture, I will watch as Vincent clears the rest of the herd as Theo walks through the gate.

Even though I studied and used this concept at work for years, it wasn’t until I stood back and really watched the interactions of the horses to understand we all have our role, and together we become one herd.

Kimberlee & Theo

Kimberlee Delany

Life begins after 50, or when you decide to learn about horses! With a passion for animals and a quest for learning, it’s not surprising I began lessons after I turned 50.

With a BS in Psychology, I spent my career in technology, starting at the help desk and landing as a technical business advisor; doing all the techie steps that are needed in-between to cross that bridge.

Continuous improvement is the name of the game.

While growing in my career, I also started a fitness journey. Over the past twenty years, I have explored a variety of sports, from triathlons to Olympic weightlifting. I have competed in local events up and down the East Coast and, most recently, the Texas State Weightlifting Championship.

It all leads to this!

When you are around horses, you notice something, something within you is awakened. It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is something to uncover. In a quest for knowledge, and the sheer experience of discovering the mystery of ‘why I feel so at peace with horses’, I became certified in Equine Assisted Learning (EAL). Now, with a desire to share this amazing journey on how horses heal, I began journaling my experiences with horses and how they teach us about life.

This article is from the May issue of Equine Business Magazine