Lead Like Theo: The Alpha Leader In The Herd

Over the course of time, we learn the difference between being a leader and being a manager. Most leaders can manage, but not all managers can lead. In comes Theo to introduce the concept of an Alpha Leader to me. It makes sense to put these two words together, but to really understand the concept we need to understand each on its own and then, like a fine partnership, bring them together to create something bigger and better.

Leaders are inspirational. They have a clear vision and can verbalize it to you in a manner that excites you and gets you on board. You want to be part of their team. You want to contribute to the inevitable success of whatever it is the team will take-on. The leader also has a way of painting a picture where you can easily see yourself participating. The overall environment is enticing and makes you hit the ground running every morning. Leaders become mentors, you want to be like them. You learn how they think, how they present, what they respond to and most importantly, what they don’t respond to. You get a sense of how they react in varied situations, and you begin to mimic that behavior.

The word, “Alpha” lands a bit stronger, doesn’t it? We hear that word in the animal world all the time, which dog is alpha? We also know exactly what that insinuates. If your dog is alpha, he is the boss. I have an adorable yellow lab named Otis. I call Otis my Beta pup. In all situations, he will simply roll over and show his belly. He submits to all dogs nearly instantly. Otis will never be alpha and that’s ok, we all have our role in the pack, or the herd. When humans are described as alphas, our minds slip into that of aggression. Maybe the person is a bit of a bully? Maybe the person is in peak physical shape and looks a bit intimidating? If this is the case, we may become like Otis, simply roll over for no reason other than we believe the person to be stronger than us. Or maybe that person takes over the meeting by not letting others speak or express their opinions and ideas. Or, quite possibly, the person is simply confident in both stance and knowledge.

Putting the words together, something powerful emerges. An “Alpha Leader” is confident enough in his knowledge to change his approach when faced with unpredictable circumstances. This person remains calm, communicates clearly, makes decisions based on previous experiences, all while providing an environment of safety and inclusion.

Theo is an “alpha leader”. He is a draft horse who lives among quarter horses, or OTTBs. He is tall, girthy and, well, big. He is also 23, and has had a full life of experiencing other horses in several states. He does seem to walk around with the attitude of, ‘yeah, I got this’. I watch quietly as he saunters to the haystack for dinner and see the other horses move to make room for him. No muss, no fuss, everyone just repositions and goes on about their business. He calls for them, and they will come running to him, and then they all move across the pasture together. Again, no fuss, just instruction.

Recently, I went to an event that unfortunately had an invisible political line drawn down the middle. Many of us gathered to laugh, eat, drink, reminisce and just reunite. Several people chose not to attend because, well, you know. My mom would have called that, ‘cutting off your nose to spite your face’. Anyway, we all meet up after the event for cocktails, and someone is there who chose not to attend but did a little side meet up instead. So, here we are in this awkward moment. Somehow, too, I’m the center of this, and she never really liked me. I’m not too far away from a table where she is seated, and people begin to go chat with her. I looked over without hesitation, and confidently walked over and stood between two friends who were sharing pictures from their phone. As I poked in, I said, “Hi, what are you all looking at?”. I am now at the table and the girl looked nervous, quickly finished her drink, got up, and left. Like, left the place, not just the table. When I walked back to chat with my husband, he said, “You walking over there was like when Theo walks into the pasture”. At that moment, I realized I am the alpha in the room.

Kimberlee & Theo

Kimberlee Delany

Life begins after 50, or when you decide to learn about horses! With a passion for animals and a quest for learning, it’s not surprising I began lessons after I turned 50.

With a BS in Psychology, I spent my career in technology, starting at the help desk and landing as a technical business advisor; doing all the techie steps that are needed in-between to cross that bridge.

Continuous improvement is the name of the game.

While growing in my career, I also started a fitness journey. Over the past twenty years, I have explored a variety of sports, from triathlons to Olympic weightlifting. I have competed in local events up and down the East Coast and, most recently, the Texas State Weightlifting Championship.

It all leads to this!

When you are around horses, you notice something, something within you is awakened. It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is something to uncover. In a quest for knowledge, and the sheer experience of discovering the mystery of ‘why I feel so at peace with horses’, I became certified in Equine Assisted Learning (EAL). Now, with a desire to share this amazing journey on how horses heal, I began journaling my experiences with horses and how they teach us about life.

This article is from the August issue of Equine Business Magazine