What Theo Taught Me About Healing

The word that keeps creeping into my vocabulary this month is ‘healing’. We use that word often to describe the process of letting go and finding ourselves again. I have often said to friends, ‘give yourself time to heal’. But the truth is it’s hard to heal from something that became your norm. When you have endured years of stress, belittlement, or simply being shunned, it takes more than a few walks in the park to shake that off. It also takes deep reflection and being honest with yourself to find those seeds that become deeply planted in our souls. For me, that little nugget of damage was a loss of confidence. No matter how bold you are, no matter how experienced or knowledgeable, years of being pushed to the side will take a toll on you. So here I am, not realizing my confidence was being eroded until I wind up on the back of a horse.

As you know, I’m new to the horse world and I’m no Spring chicken, so there is a healthy respect for the majesty of the horse. I can get hurt, and I know it. But there was always something a little deeper than just the natural fear of falling off. I would be a bit sheepish walking into the pasture to catch Theo. I wanted him to ‘like’ me. If we were in a lesson and I couldn’t get him to do something I would immediately think I wasn’t cut out for this. And, the biggie, I was afraid of cantering. Now, this is particularly funny because I am involved in numerous sports, one of which is skiing. I have no problem zipping down the side of a mountain going 30-35 or even 40mph. So, what the heck is the problem here? And, I’ve fallen while skiing and have the scars to prove it.

Theo is a large Draft horse, a Drum. I was told he’s 17.2 but I think he’s a tiny bit shorter than that. So yes, he is majestic. He is also well trained and older, I guess some would refer to him as a ‘husband horse’. So, he is ideal for me and yet he would shake my confidence at every turn. If we were doing round pen work and he was ignoring me I would mentally beat myself up. Same would hold true with something as simple as I want to go right but he turns left. I know it’s me learning, but I was instantly deflated. I didn’t quit though, I kept seeking help and I kept working to understand how to best communicate with him. I would be so elated after a good session and then could feel so defeated a day later if everything wasn’t perfect. Theo, however, was the same no matter what. He still loved me, he still walks to me as soon as he sees me. He still poses for endless selfies. And then it dawned on me. That seed of insecurity was planted at work and watered daily with being marginalized. The daily reminder that you need to prove your value as an employee. The feeling of needing to be right, needing to be liked, or being of some significance- that wasn’t Theo doing that to me, that was work. Theo was showing me it was ok to take my time in learning, and he would show me my value was in just being there. He also reminded me that my stress level, my inner thoughts and emotions would not be hidden from him and he would respond accordingly.

I am healing, we all have something to heal from, that’s part of life. I’m also very introspective in trying to understand why I react in certain ways. I thought about my cantering, or my fear of it, as it compares to skiing. While there is the obvious answer of, he has a mind of his own, there was something else that jumped out. I was a kid when I learned to ski. I was damn sure I could and I did. Maybe not well, and that didn’t matter either. What mattered was I was outside enjoying the mountain air. I learned about horses as an adult, after years of having to measure up. After having to justify my worth and not slip up. We all go through this; it’s not isolated to me. Peeling back the onion of how I got here is an interesting journey. Theo is revealing my insecurities and I’m learning in church I only answer to One and if I keep my focus there, I will have everything I need; and you will too.

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Kimberlee & Theo

Written by Kimberlee Delany

Life begins after 50, or when you decide to learn about horses! With a passion for animals and a quest for learning, it’s not surprising I began lessons after I turned 50.

With a BS in Psychology, I spent my career in technology, starting at the help desk and landing as a technical business advisor; doing all the techie steps that are needed in-between to cross that bridge.

Continuous improvement is the name of the game.

While growing in my career, I also started a fitness journey. Over the past twenty years, I have explored a variety of sports, from triathlons to Olympic weightlifting. I have competed in local events up and down the East Coast and, most recently, the Texas State Weightlifting Championship.

It all leads to this!

When you are around horses, you notice something, something within you is awakened. It doesn’t matter how old you are, there is something to uncover. In a quest for knowledge, and the sheer experience of discovering the mystery of ‘why I feel so at peace with horses’, I became certified in Equine Assisted Learning (EAL). Now, with a desire to share this amazing journey on how horses heal, I began journaling my experiences with horses and how they teach us about life.

This article is from the May 2026 issue of Equine Business Magazine